Out of the Frying Pan, Into the Hellmouth
by Deus Ex Sub Ubi
Summary: Teachers tend to die a lot in Sunnydale, so Principal Flutie is importing one with a warranty.


  
  
Title: Out of the Frying Pan, Into the Hellmouth  
  
Crossover: Buffy/ If I mention it now, it will spoil the surprise  
  
Time frame: Season One, before The Pack and past that.  
  
Summary: Teachers tend to die a lot in Sunnydale, so Principal Flutie is importing one with a warranty.  
  
March 29, 1997  
  
Principal Sherman Flutie was stuck in a precarious position, to say the least. The sub for sociology, Ms. French, up and moved away without any kind of notice. He was short on staff as it was, so no one could possibly cover that class. He could get a sub through that contracting company through L.A. again, but he really did not want to try his luck like that. Looks like resume and interview time. Groaning, he started drafting an add for the local papers and posting one on the internet.  
  
No sooner than thirty seconds after preparing his papers did his secretary buzz him.  
  
"Mr. Flutie, there is a gentleman here to drop off a job application."  
  
Flutie looked down at the drafts he threw out and the final copies of his want-ad, cursed the universe and started straightening up for the impromptu interview he was going to hold: the guy could have been Charles Manson, well, maybe not quite, but Flutie knew that he was going to hire this mystery teacher regardless of qualifications.  
  
Flutie buzzed his secretary back and told her to send him in. The man was about six feet tall, hand shakes were exchanged. Jokes were made, the two got along swimmingly. The new man got the job as a sociology teacher for the tenth grade, as well as his own home room class. Little did he know how problematic they would be...  
  
After the interview:  
  
Flutie was not a stupid man. Albeit somewhat naive, he knew there was something up with this town, he just could not put his finger on it. Knowing that anything can happen in this wacky world in which he lived, he drew up an ironclad contract for his new self described troubleshooter, making it so he had full time hours until the end of this school year as well as the next- the only way to get out of the contract is for the teacher to willingly hand in a letter of resignation. Flutie would get the man to sign it tomorrow morning.  
  
March 30, 1997  
  
Buffy ,Willow and Xander walked together to school this one morning. Xander a bit gingerly, favouring his cracked ribs as he had been hurled into a gravestone the night before. Willow was sporting a brand new Scooby Doo bandaid on her forehead caused by a stray vampire-hurled rock that grazed her. Buffy, if asked, she would have confess to being the second gun-person on that grassy knoll back in the 1960's, that's how tired she was. The trio soldiered into school and Willow broke out the conversation.  
  
"I heard yesterday Principal Flutie hired a new teacher to replace Miss French. No one knows his name. I wonder what he's like." Willow happily daydreamed about a handsome intellectual who could guide her into her passionate future.  
  
"As long as he's not a demon too yippy-aye-yay." Wigged Xander, remembering Miss French and almost being fertilizer for her trans-species demon children that he would have doubled as daddy for.  
  
"Huh..." grunted Buffy, as they finished getting their assorted books ready for home room. The trio continued their way to their home room. When they enter they took their seats.  
  
The class was restless and rowdy, throwing paper balls at random people, nerds gossipping loud enough to be primo targets. The period bell rang and the class mellowed out some, ready for this new teacher to make his spectacular entrance.  
  
The class room door opened, relieving a six foot tall blonde Japanese man, smoking a cigarette and wearing a white suit. The man walked to the chalkboard , exhaled the smoke and wrote on the board. "GTO"  
  
The class collectively gave a 'huh' and numerous 'what the hell's as the man puffed again. The man spoke in a perfectly clear and well accented voice, one would possibly say that someone was dubbing his speech. "Hey guys, I'm GTO, Great Teacher Onizuka, twenty-three years old from Shonan Beach, Japan. I'm going to be your new home room teacher for the rest of the year. So since that's the case, I'm going to need to learn all of your names." Onizuka grabbed the class list and leafed through it, realizing that there were 30 new faces to learn and wished for an easier way to do it, like psychic communication, ID software on his desk. He sighed and did his job.. He took a seat on his desk - already decorated with a Japanese schoolgirl bobble head, a picture of class 3-4 and one of Asuza that he grabbed from that freak job Teshigawara's room months ago. Onizuka put his feet up on his desk, snuffed out his smoke and started reading off the list, paying attention to the students and getting them to say a little blurb about themselves.  
  
Willow was fuming at this new slacker teacher that somehow crawled up from the primordial ooze just to aggravate her. Sure he was pretty well dressed and seemed nice enough, but he sorely lacked in manners and obvious intelligence. She then glanced to Xander to see what he thought. Seeing him grinning and trying not to laugh, Willow let out a disgruntled sigh I have go to and like my men big, cute and dense .  
  
Willow glanced towards Buffy, looking to see if she shared her own rage, the look on her sleep deprived face only said "fire bad, tree pretty". Knowing she was outnumbered this once, she would strike back eventually against the establishment.

* * *

After home room, Onizuka had his prep period, so he walked around the school, getting familiar with the setting. He was liking America a lot so far. The girls were nearly all super-models, the money was infinitely better than being a teacher in Japan and things could only get better from here. The only downside to being on the lay in the states was that he was starting to miss his old class. He had been keeping in touch with Kikuchi and Urumi by email. Telling them he was safe and having a great time. His resume and stellar references were mostly due to the brainy duo's BEING them. While he was certain that Mrs. Sakurai would probably would give him an amazing reference, he didn't want to put that kind of pressure on her to ever reveal his location before the scandal died down by getting in touch with her.  
  
Onizuka somehow managed to walk into the library, browsing the shelves for some manga or maybe a few issues of Playboy (Never know what kinda librarian worked here.) Finding nothing but old mythology books, he left the library. After he closed the door behind himself, he bumped into someone.  
  
"Oh, excuse me. I wasn't watching where I was going." apologized GTO. He looked down to who he walked into, seeing a woman who was a full 10/10 on the hotness scale. Having been somewhat desensitized to it by now, after a month in the states, he didn't break into a nosebleed, but he couldn't help but stare at her chest. "I'm Eikichi Onizuka, the new sociology teacher for the tenth grade." He stuck out his hand, clasping hers in a handshake.  
  
"I'm Jenny Calendar, the computer science teacher. So you're the mysterious new teacher that Principal Flutie hired on the spot. What brings you into our little hamlet we call Sunnydale?"  
  
"I took a sabbatical from my teaching position in Japan to get a little travelling done. I was starting to run short on cash, so I figured I'd supply teach here or there to get things back on track." Which was not too far from the truth. In reality he only lost his remaining money betting on NHL games. He had been funding his exploits by resorting to a few old habits- prizefighting in L.A., some light blackmail and generally making a nuisance of himself. Then he realized he could easily get a teaching job here in the states - they say they always hire brilliant but really poor English speaking Indian professors, why not a Japanese guy who could speak the language fluently and know all of its slang? And with Urumi and Kikuchi as his references, he could easily pass as a Tokyo U. Graduate..... not that he would, that place breeds assholes as far as Onizuka was concerned.  
  
"Well, welcome to American, Mr. Onizuka. Have you been to the teachers lounge yet?"  
  
"Not just yet, I had to sign a contract for Principal Flutie before home room today. Think you could show me the way?" asked Onizuka, one hand behind his head scratching lightly. Oh yeah, I could follow this chick anywhere. He grinned and checked out her butt as they both walked towards the lounge, her leading the way.

* * *

After meeting the rest of the faculty and teaching his classes, Onizuka returned to his new pad, much nicer looking that the old one, that being his free "suite" at the top of Holy Forest Acadamy back in Japan. As well as it should be. It will be months before Onizuka can afford to go drinking because of this place. Onizuka changed out of his suit and tossed on a t-shirt saying "Your girlfriend wants me" and a pair of baggy pants. He hopped onto his good, old trusted Kawasaki and started to cruise around town. Some of the students mentioned this dance club, 'The Bronze" as the best place to go to.  
  
The odds of this night turning into a major bar brawl are pretty good, I think. New job just fell into my lap, time for fate to let the other shoe drop. Meeeh. Who'm I kiddin', I've been itching for a good fight since I got into town. Onizuka grinned, grabbed a smoke from his pocket, lit it and puffed his way to the Bronze. 


End file.
